De vidare äventyren från omklädningsrummet på mitt gym

Jag har konstaterat att jag har djupgående emotionella problem med att byta om bredvid en naken man som pratar i mobiltelefon.

Alltså: Jag har inga principiella problem med vare sig mobiltelefoner eller nakna män, men jag kan efter omfattande prövningar sluta mig till att det är någonting med kombinationen som gör mig djupt obekväm.

Det finns en man på mitt gym som har tagit för vana att, endast iklädd badtofflor (och jag ska erkänna att jag tänkt oproportionerligt mycket på det här och kommit fram till att han sannolikt tar med sig badtofflorna till gymmet enbart för detta ändamål), promenera runt i cirklar i omklädningsrummet medan han lufttorkar och avhandlar affärsangelägenheter i sin iPhone. Ibland tvärstannar han bredbent mitt mellan två bänkar där andra män kanske just då sitter och försöker ta på sig strumporna (75% av mitt gymbesök går åt till att ta på och av mig strumporna men jag har långa ben och korta magmuskler så det är inte så jävla lätt som det ser ut) och artikulerar saker väldigt beslutsamt och missnöjt till personen i andra änden. Och han är i den ålder då hela kroppen liksom inte stannar samtidigt. Det blir en fördröjning innan alla delar så att säga hinner ikapp varandra och saktar in. Lite som när man precis lyckas hindra en julgran från att välta. Och då och då när mannen blir upprörd i sin telefon (det blir han ofta) sätter han upp sin ena fot på en bänk bredvid någon som försöker ta på sig strumpor, som om mannen är på väg att börja stretcha baksida lår, men så lutar han sig istället fram över knäet och höjer rösten i luren, så att hans nakna kropp är formad som om han försöker få ner en mycket tung spade i ett djupfruset trädgårdsland.

Och alltså, jag har kommit fram till att jag verkligen inte hade haft några som helst problem alls med något av det här om han inte hade pratat i telefonen under tiden.

Det känns bara väldigt intimt, när han gör det.

Jag vet inte exakt hur man eventuellt skulle beskriva detta problem på gymmets hemsida under ”förslag/klagomål”. Men jag har haft hela dagen på mig att inse att det verkligen skulle bli en väldigt komplicerad förbudsskylt.

Jag har en god vän som har studerat psykologi som för några år sedan sa till mig att jag ”lider av en mycket originell form av social fobi, eftersom din fobi helt och hållet handlar om att du inte klarar av att andra är sociala”. Det ligger kanske något i det.

Men jo så det är i alla fall vad jag har gjort idag. Hur har er måndag varit?

 

253 kommentarer

  1. Den enda skylt som behövs verkar vara ”mobilsamtal undanbedes i omklädningsrummet”. Problem solved!

    Men den skylten är ju inte på långa vägar lika rolig som din skulle varit…

    Andra ”lösningar” skulle kunna vara att gå honom att tänka på annat, t ex med hjälp av klipulver…

  2. Du skulle ha sagt till honom ”Du är ett levande material” (med betoning på ”du”, skippa allt sånt där tramsigt ”kan vara”, gå bara rakt på ”är”)

  3. Åh vad jag stör mig på folk som INTE KAN STÅ STILL medan de pratar i mobiltelefon! Frågade en kollega nyligen om hon gör likadant när hon sitter ned; rullar fram och tillbaka i skrivbordsstolen, men det svarade hon förvånat nej på, det fanns liksom inte i hennes världsbild. Vad är skillnaden iksom?

    Och att behöva åskåda detta spektakel när personen dessutom är naken måste vara ännu mer störande. Du har min fulla förståelse, Fredrik.

  4. Vänta nu här, var det inte du som hade armar ”som två selfiepinnar” ? (8 juni inlägg).
    Då borde inte strumporna vara något problem 😉 , så du kan ägna all tid åt annat gymande..

  5. Fredrik, du har satt fingret på en viktig sak, nä inte den ”saken”!
    Det här är ett utbrett problem i omklädningsrum till gym eller liknande där män byter om!

    Sitter man ned och knyter sina skor eller liknande så kan man ge sig tusan på att det kommer ett hårigt arsle i nyllet från mannen mittemot som gladeligen står och torkar i skrevet med sin handduk utan någon helst hänsyn till andra i de ofta ganska trånga utrymmet som finns mellan två skåp-rader med inbyggda bänkar!

    Det är de gångerna man är glad att man inte tagit med sig en kofot som då lätt hade kunnat hamnat på ett för den hänsynslöse mannen väldigt obra ställe!

    …talet i mobilen i fråga känns helt ovidkommande och ett sätt att fly det riktiga problemet Fredrik!

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