Barn med brända föräldrar skyr inte elden jättemycket. Kan man väl säga.

Jag skrev en del i samband med min familjs semester förra året om hur jag utvecklade en rimligt dysfunktionell superhjältesolbränna genom att gå framåtlutad i babypoolen hälften av dagen, och ägna andra hälften av dagen åt att sova på balkongen klädd i pikétröja och pilotglasögon. Vilket ledde till en röd mantel på ryggen ackompanjerad av en röd rosett runt halsen och en vit mask runt ögonen i ett i övrigt sönderbränt ansikte.

Jag känner att det är viktigt med uppföljning och closure på den här bloggen, så jag vill bara som hastigast redogöra för att solbrännan man får året efter babypoolen när man har två barn som lär sig simma är aningen annorlunda.

För det första är jag bara röd på de delarna av överkroppen som inte har hamnat i skuggan av mitt huvud medan jag stod i midjehögt vatten sex timmar om dagen och ropade ”det där var mitt fel, pappa var okoncentrerad, men spotta ut vattnet bara älskling så börjar vi om”. Dessa delar visar sig vara axlar, händer och de yttre delarna av min mage.

På ryggen var jag insmörjd, vilket var bra. Men tyvärr av mig själv, vilket var dåligt eftersom jag inte riktigt nådde runt hela vägen utan liksom fick ta sats och svinga handflatan runt skulderbladen och hoppas att lite sololja fastnade på vägen. Min fru har tittat på min rygg nu och konstaterat att det ser ut som om jag ”blir visiterad av fyra osynliga män”.

Jag har även vissa problem med att jag blev solbränd i överdelen av ansiktet men inte på halsen (som täcktes av huvudet) samt området runt munnen och näsan (som tycks ha täckts av min onormalt utskjutande panna, jag vet inte exakt hur jag ska beskriva det men jag verkar ha ett ansikte som är ett slags uppochnervänt underbett). Min son är 5 år gammal och hans grammatik är inte svinbra men såvitt jag förstår förklarade han för sina kompisar när han kom hem från semestern att jag såg ut som om jag hade varit på utomhusmaskerad utklädd till Bane.

Det är antingen den beskrivningen eller beskrivningen av en av mina bästa vänner som frågade igår om jag hade ramlat på Arlanda innan vi flög från Sverige och fått tillbringa hela semestern i gipsad nackkrage och därför på lite oklara grunder bestämt mig för att bara sola med huvudet uthängt genom ett fönster på en Honda Accord.

Jag vet inte riktigt vilken som är värst.

Mina nära och kära kan vara onödigt specifika ibland.

Jag borde ha tagit av mig klockan också, ser jag nu.

606 kommentarer

  4. Note to self: drick inte te medan du läser Fredrik Backmans blogg. Det blir så blött överallt. Och varmt i näsan.

  6. Om du bara hade haft med dig lite fler kepsar så hade hela ansiktet kunnat ha samma färg som halsen.

  8. Fredrik Fredrik Fredrik….till att börja med. Du är en vansinnigt rolig människa som skriver oerhört bra men…här kommer det ett men. Inte fan heter det insmörjd.

  12. Att någon annan smörjer in ryggen är ingen garanti. Jag bad frugan att fixa min rygg och motvilligt lade hon ifrån sig boken för att smörja in ryggen på mig. Tydligen ville hon tillbaka till handlingen i boken så fort som möjligt så insmörjningen gick väl kanske lite väl fort och inte så noggrant som jag hade önskat. Senare på kvällen i duschen upptäckte jag att ryggen såg som ett verk av en konstnär i Impressionismens glada dagar fast bara i två färger.

  13. Alltså Fredrik… Inte för att det här till ämnet, men jag skickade en illustration till en av dina godnattsagor till din mail. Du har inte svarat än….

  14. Inte heller bör man smygläsa bloggen när man sitter på föreläsning. En mycket allvarlig sådan.

  15. har du fortfarande inte läst mitt mail. det var väldigt länge sen jag skrev det. sparade en skrivmaskin när vi rensade min pappas arbetsrum för att jag trodde att den var nåt för dig. bifogade till och med bild.
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